Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
