what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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