that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
porn star boner night. come get it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
