This is not my ceiling
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
