you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
