Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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