yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize