I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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