At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
