Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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