it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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