told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
