Your mouth is God's brothel.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize