Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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