The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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