I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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