Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
