from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
