You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
