Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
