it wasn't lemon gatorade
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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