I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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