So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
