I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
