a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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