the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
