You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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