it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
