I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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