I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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