My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize