Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
