I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
