it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
