I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
