So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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