i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
