she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
