I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
