fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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