I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
