i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
