its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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