just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
