He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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