You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
