I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
