I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
