Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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