well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You've changed since you got that strap on
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize