LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
