all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
