yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
