How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
