we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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